


since we were eighteen

by peachykeenjellybean



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 50 First Dates Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Memory Loss, Optimism, Rey Needs A Hug, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24869104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachykeenjellybean/pseuds/peachykeenjellybean
Summary: Rey comes with Jannah and Poe. It’s July 4th and Ben is cooking. She shakes his hand, smiles, says “It’s nice to meet you, Ben.”Later, he finds her holding a picture frame and looking confused. She eyes him with distrust when he walks in.“Why am I in this photo with you?”BASICALLY a little 50 First Dates Style one shot in which Rey's friends are slowly helping her get her memories back but Ben Solo is the one memory that doesn't stick. Until maybe it does.Note: rated Mature for language at the beginning. No smut.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 36
Kudos: 279
Collections: Galactic Idiots Collection





	since we were eighteen

**Author's Note:**

> This is the most emotional thing I've written and I do not do emotions and crying but I totally choked up writing this sooooo have fun! It was inspired by [ this tweet](https://twitter.com/galacticidiots/status/1274594284017254400?s=20) by Fran aka the Reylo prompt queen. Let me know what you think by leaving comments or kudos. Follow me on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/darthpeachy) :)
> 
> also NOTE: I am not a doctor!! I am not in the medical field!! I do not know anything about memory loss or gaining back memory!! This is just pure fiction!!

Rey can smell burgers and hotdogs on the grill before she even walks through the gate to the backyard and she hears his voice before she sees him. 

“Jannah! Poe, you fucker!” When the gate is fully open and they walk inside and they’re met with a very large man towering over them. He pulls Jannah in for a hug and when he lets go he grabs Poe’s arm and pulls him towards him and hits him on the back. Then he looks at Rey and she feels an overwhelming sense of deja vu but she shakes that feeling away. She’s never been here before. She’s never met Jannah and Poe’s friend before. 

Has she?

No. That’s ridiculous. 

“Hi, I’m Rey.” She says, sticking her hand out to meet his. 

He looks down at it, smirks, and grabs it tight. “Hi, Rey. I’m Ben.” Their hands stay closed together for a few seconds longer than what is probably considered normal for a handshake but she doesn’t want to let go. That deja vu feeling comes back when she looks in his auburn eyes that stare back at her in earnest. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Ben.” Then she pulls her hand away and makes it stick to the side of her thigh, completely flexing her fingers out to take away the funny feeling. “It smells good back here. What are you grilling?”

Rey walks over to the grill with Ben following behind her. “I made sure to make you a veggie burger!” He says with enthusiasm. She looks at him confused. 

“How’d you know I’m a vegetarian?” Ben stumbles on his words for a second and they get caught in his throat, “That’s so thoughtful of you, thank you!” Her smile is warm. 

“Poe let me know before you guys came!” Ben says with relief. “I wanted to make sure I had something for everyone.” 

~

Ben watched Rey from across the yard while she sat at a picnic table with Poe and nursed a beer. She hated beer. She always complained about the bitterness and how it tasted a bit like liquid bread. Still, she sat there at the end of the table with one in her hand taking slow sips. Ben saw the condensation form a wet ring on her jeans and bead in her fingers. She’d take only a small sip when people were looking at her or talking to her. She mostly stayed on the outside and listened. Also very unlike her. 

Ben missed her. Watching her like this hurt. She doesn’t know who he is. She barely even remembers who she is. She did remember that she’s a vegetarian. That’s new. She didn’t remember that last week. He can see that her beer is still mostly full. He smiles and looks down, grabbing a cold seltzer from the cooler, and walks over to her with the can dripping onto the finished stone patio. 

“How about this instead?” He says quietly to just her and hands her the drink. She furrows her eyebrows as she looks up at him. 

“No, it’s alright,” she says, gesturing towards the drink in her hand, “I already have one, thanks.”

“I can tell you don’t like it.”

“No, I do, it’s fine.”

“Just take the seltzer, Rey. It’s fine. I’ll drink the beer.” And he switches their drinks. The look on her face changes into relief as she sips the cold alcoholic water. Ben takes a long swig of the now warm beer and keeps his eyes on her and smirks at her as he drinks. 

“Thank you,” she whispers. 

~

“Where’s the bathroom?” She leans into Poe to ask him.

“Just through those doors and to the left.” He says pointing and watches her as she walks into the house and turns left down the hallway out of his view. 

“She remembered she’s a vegetarian today.” Jannah says to Poe when they know she can’t hear them anymore. “That’s something.”

She finds the bathroom with no problem and when she’s done, she wanders through the hall, looking at the pictures on the walls of Ben and his friends and family. One picture catches her off guard. Her feet plant themselves firmly on the floor and suddenly she can’t move. Her hand comes up to hold her chest and her mouth opens with a gasp. She nearly drops the picture frame but Ben comes out from around the corner and catches it before it hits the floor with one hand on just barely grasping her waist to steady her. 

“Ben,” her voice is low and shaking. He can see a wetness start to form in her eyes but he can tell she’s fighting it.  _ Let go, Rey. It’s okay. I’m here.  _ “What am I doing in this picture with you?”

He looks down at the frame in his hands and his heart sinks. 

He always puts away pictures when she’s here. He always does. He puts them in a drawer in his bedroom and puts them back up when she leaves. He forgot this one. He left it out. 

He runs his finger over the glass on the frame and tears now start in his eyes. Rey in a short white dress and Ben in a white button up shirt and khaki slacks. Both of them are barefoot and sitting in the grass. Rey sits in between his legs and he has his arms wrapped around her shoulders. They’re both proudly showing off their shiny new rings as they laugh into their kiss. 

Ben bites his upper lip and doesn’t know what to say. Rey repeats herself. “Why am I in that picture with you?” Each word comes out as it’s own syllable and each word stings Ben as a tear drops onto the glass of the frame right on top of her face. 

“You’re my wife, Rey,” he somehow manages to choke out. Not being able to look at her. “You’re my wife. You’re the love of my life.” 

When he finally does take a second to look up at her, her face is contorted into utter shock. Her eyes are wide and lined red. Tears have burst and are rolling down her freckled cheeks he loves so much. She can’t move. She’s frozen. “Why would you say something like that? You’re lying.” She says shortly. 

She doesn’t believe him. 

She doesn’t remember. 

“Rey,” He starts and tries to reach for her but she turns away and suddenly her feet can move from where they were planted on the hardwood and she makes her way out the door and into the backyard. “Rey,” He calls after her, “Please let me explain, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that!” She turns to him and yells. Poe and Jannah immediately stand and run to Rey. Poe grabs one of her arms and moves his other hand over to run it up her arm to soothe her. 

“Calm down, Rey.” He says in a tone to just her. She tries to shake out of his grip but he holds onto her tight enough that she can’t get out but loose enough that he’s not hurting her. Poe and Ben look at each other and then back at Rey. 

She’s so confused. 

They’re lying. Why is she here? None of this is real. They’re lying. They’re lying. They’re lying. 

They have to be. 

Right? 

She looks around at the people in the backyard. Everyone is looking at her like she’s a sad puppy. Their eyes drooped downwards and their heads cocked with pursed lips in a pout. She hates it. She needs them to look away. 

“Poe,” She says turning to face him, “Poe, he’s lying. He’s lying right?” She’s shaking in his grasp. “He has to be lying. I don’t know him. I don’t know him.” And then she breaks down into a full sob. She falls to the ground on her knees but Poe still holds her close to his chest, clutching her back and soothing her. 

Ben hurts listening to her cry. He wants to be the one in Poe’s place holding her and rubbing her back as she cries into his chest but he knows he can’t be and he has to accept it. 

When she finally woke up after her accident, Poe was the only person she could remember. Her lifelong best friend. She asked for him when she opened her eyes and had to ask him who the man standing next to her was. Ben had never felt air leave his lungs so fast. 

Slowly, as she started to recover more after weeks of being unconscious, memories and people started to come back. Small memories. Like one about the cat she had in one of the foster homes she had grown up in. Or the fact that she hates hates hates cinnamon. But never Ben. She could never remember Ben. No memories of him have come back. It breaks his heart a little bit more each day that she’s not home with him. That he can’t hold her and kiss her and tell her that he loves her as much as he wants to. As much as he has since they were 18 years old and would sneak behind the bleachers of their high school to make out during class. 

He reminds himself everyday and every morning and every night that she’s slowly remembering things. She’ll slowly remember him. One day. Hopefully. She remembered today that she’s a vegetarian. And she kind of remembered that she doesn’t like beer. Ben had thought he saw a bit of hope and longing in her eyes when she first walked through the gate and he shook her hand as if he was a stranger to her. 

Everytime Poe brings her over and he has to pretend he cries himself to sleep at night. He cries thinking about the fact that he has to reintroduce himself to his wife everytime he sees her. She doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t remember him. 

This has never happened before, though. Ben has always remembered to put away all the photos of her around the house so that she wouldn’t be scared and confused like she is now. He always makes sure he does. He’s always careful. He was careless today. He was too excited and eager to see her that he missed one frame. The most important one of them on their wedding day. 

He hears his name being called and turns to look at Poe and Poe mouths a task for him. Ben goes inside and finds the little white book on his bedside table and brings it outside. 

Their wedding album. The album that Rey stayed up for hours one night to put together after sorting through dozens of disposable film cameras to find all the perfect shots to throw in. She had insisted that they didn’t need a photographer. What was the point? Who better to take photos of them at their wedding than their best friends and loved ones, she had said. So they bought the store out of all the cameras they’d had and ordered more online and threw them in a wicker basket outside where guests could grab one and snap pictures through the night as the moon came up and the lightning bugs came out to play and Ben and Rey danced slowly under the twinkle lights he’d hung above their outdoor patio the day before. 

He holds the album tight in his hands before letting it go to give it to Poe. Poe nods and Ben backs away letting Poe do what he needs to do. 

“Rey,” Poe says as he opens it up to the first page. A picture of Rey and Ben shoving cake in each other’s faces. Buttercream smeared everywhere. They made out in the bathroom after trying to clean themselves up and licking it off. “Ben isn’t lying. He’s your husband. You’re married. You love him, Rey. You love him so much.” Ben can hear Poe starting to break but he clears his throat and holds it together. The next time he speaks it comes out as more stern. Like he’s trying to cover up the tears that he refuses to let fall while he’s consoling Rey. 

Rey picks her head up and starts to look at the album in front of her. She turns page after page with a look of bewilderment on her face. She runs her fingers across the page with a picture of Ben holding her blue lacy garter between his teeth and she laughs in between sobs. 

“Ben,” She says hushed but Ben can hear her and he wipes his tears and moves closer to her but not close enough to scare. She keeps turning the pages until she reaches the end. Another picture of them laying together in the grass. There are visible stains on her dress and on his shirt but they don’t care as they hold hands with their eyes closed. “Ben,” She says again and looks up at him with watery eyes and red red blotchy cheeks. “Why don’t I remember you?”

“I don’t know sweetheart.” He says not losing eye contact with her then realizing what he said and quickly regretting it since she told him not to do that. Not to call her what he always called her. “Sorry. I won’t call you that.”

“No,” her voice is gentle as she starts to stand to everyone’s surprise and takes a step towards him, “It’s okay.” She takes a breath before speaking again, “When I walked in here today I had a weird sense of deja vu but let it go thinking maybe I’d seen it in a dream or something silly. I had the same feeling when I took your hand and looked in your eyes but I shook it off. But now, looking at all these pictures, I’m so overwhelmed with that feeling and I can’t shake it off. I can’t. I don’t want to. Ben. I don’t remember you the way I should. But, I need you to help me. Help me feel more of that deja vu feeling again, please.” She’s crying again but this time when she breaks she leans forward into Ben’s chest and he gets that feeling of the wind being knocked out of him again but this time he doesn’t mind. He wraps his arms around her and nuzzles her head close to him. He starts to cry too and his tears fall into her hair as he tangles it with his fingers and kisses her hair. 

He has her back. 

He almost has her back. 

Soon. 

Soon she’ll be back to him. 


End file.
